Welcome Insanity!

Im beginning to hate life again, since i cant take a day off from school because of the amount of absences ive had. I have had to go thru the week, at school, suffering. In that time i have managed to live thru the pain and heat, but when my nose starts running and my eyes water(causing ppl to think im crying) that is where i draw the line. I am done with being a human, I denounce it! Im so irritated by it,that imma mope around my house complaining like an old woman and fall out onto the floor like a child who didnt get what they wanted. Its my only way of evening out the insanity scale in my mind, if not ill go on some killing spree. There are plenty of stupid,racial reasons to kill the black community i live in.....sorry thats not appropriate but its written and will stay. For if i censor myself, i will be hiding who i truly am. I am a very unstable person when messed with, and ive been messed with for far too long.

School...

Today in my band class since our final was to play at the seniors graduation, so i programed the date and times in my phone so i could put it on a calender so i wont forget since im slow. Then in Geometry our teacher was there so this sub. that acted like she was just babysitting got constant attitudes and texted the whole class period, then when she was supposed to give answers for our assignment she speed thru it like she couldnt care if we got it right for our grade. But no skin off my nose, i sat there and talked the whole class period. Now that im home my sis and grandma are back from thier trip and i sort of regret missing her, cause now she doesnt leave outta my room,like now shes in here talking to me and reading the subs on my tv telling me about a re-run on cartoon network. And slowly but surely im heading to the homicidal place in my mind once more..the video above is what ive listened to while writing this.

Better/New books!

I was feeling SO much better when i woke up and i set the goal to be quiet the whole day,and easily broke that goal when i got to the school. But my throat didnt start to hurt until 4th period, and then i started to taste iron and feel like throwing up so when i got home i ate and started to read.

I also got 2 new books that im happy about...But first I got a new kindle since the other got "lost" so I got The Alice in Wonderland book on kindle since im going through that phase again. Anyway i got the book "No longer Human" by Osamu Dazai today and the other i got some days ago,but ill keep it to myself for now, but its awesome. Im so happy that i can get these books..My imagination will be super overloaded during summer, *nerd/lame moment* Imma read like a boss! But yeah, Im gonna finish my manga now so i can let my friend borrow it, he gets serious about the manga i buy...sadly he'll read anything.

Medicine is a Lie

Yesterday i took some dayquil cause i didnt want to use throat spray,and it didnt work. But if it did it helped me lose some hearing and the ability to taste,cause i took the dayquil again this morning expecting it to taste nasty and i barely tasted it. I like to have a cup of Camomile tea before bed, but i couldnt even drink it all halfway finished and i felt like throwing up . I was upset and I officially hate being sick, i will no longer be doing any extracurricular activity that requires you to do anything with your voice ,maintenance with it or anything of the sort. I do not want to go through it again.

*Sigh* Im in pain

Alright, i stayed up till 3 am i think cause Toonami came back, and i was talking with some buddies on facbook about the episodes and voice actors. I went to sleep and woke up to my sister sayin how they were gonna head off to the beach for a while, and i just ignore her..then i wake up to the crappy Pokemon they showin on cartoon network cause i hear one of the pokemons names sounded like tarantula or somethin. and thats when the pain hit me..i couldnt breath right and i felt like i was being choked. I'm surprised that it hurt that much, i mean its been hurting for the past month and ive kept it at bay by eating some dual action cough drops. But if anything, i might not go to the activity i got goin on for band tomorrow. I feel sad tho, If this doesn't clear up then im gonna be goin to school in pain and have to take finals. I dont like being ill

Results

When i got home from field day yesterday, my feet hurt like crazy. But now they feel like cement,I feel like sleeping the whole day. And i need to figure out how to earn back alot of the money i wasted for drinks and stuff..i even made things worse by going to Amazon and buying "No longer Human" by Osamu Dazai and pre-ordering some more manga. I also need to go put what little money i have in the bank so i dont spend it so easily. *Sigh* so much to do, So little time.

Field day/Couples

I had so much fun, i got to hang with some of my friends i haven't seen cause of the different schedules and I attempted to assault some people. It was fun but like half way thru I got peer pressured to do some weed, and i kept saying to myself "ABOVE THE INFLUENCE,ABOVE THE INFLUENCE" and i gave in and handed away 5 dollars..i got jipped and i took it as a sign that drugs are bad and i should just stay a good girl. Then like an hour away from getting out of school, my friend Raymond, who i didn't know was vietnamese proved me how weak i am. I kept trying to poke him in the tummy and he twisted my arm and said "no more poking its bad", but i laughed a bit cause he's so soft spoken its cute. In the end i had fun, lost money, and got a tan on my face from the sun; but in all it was pretty fun..hope i get to hang with everyone on the last day of school.

I even observed how alot of the couples are when they are together without class periods to seperate them...It makes me feel sad cause whenever i have a boyfriend they dont talk to me or say hi or hold my hand. The hang out with me when were friends but not after they ask me out.. it doesnt make sense! Yet I feel that i could care less, it just makes me put them on the death list after they make up some stupid reason to break up with me.

Dissapointment

Today is the day Animazment starts, and i cant go.
My mom's cool with it but my grandma isn't...its just not fair,i do go in school and act right at home. But when i want to do this one thing i cant go,I mean i get to go to the movies with friends but cant be out late.I just want to be treated like an adult when i already do so so much. Even though i act like a child i want some freedom to do as i please sometimes.