What the hell

Finals are done and classes are setting to 2nd semester. My mom has decided that if i pass the 11th grade i get my jeep and get to try band next yr but if not then i wait another yr without a job and i go to summer school. Not only are classes changing but soon all my senior friends and my school brother will be gone onto their own lives. Many are friendships that arent functional by internet, some are filled with uncertainty of what the future holds for said friendship. I plan to work hard even though im the only one out of my friends who have a future goal that they can accomplish and have set. Working toward a job/career is one thing i cant manage cause the goals that are set feel unreachable because i procrastinate too much and slide through life. I live like a hard worker but dream as a slacker who parties their life and future away. Yesterday morning i saw some guys on my bus smoking and laughing like they dont care if they get caught, through the course of the day i saw multiple couples acting as if nobody was around them and though it made me sick it made me realize some stupid crap that makes me think of how one day i could die suddenly and have lived my life being walked over and by teenager terms a "lame" or not really living life to the fullest..not saying that i wanna do some stupid stuff while yelling "YOLO" or something stupid but just enjoy life more than wasting it tolerating people i hate or being a doormat for other people who live life rather than study but can ace a test without doing any work while i work my ass off......Sorry i got abit upset there but, still something id like to do this year is to better my attitude and speak up for myself.